Setting here with a thousand things going through my mind.My kids are growing up so fast and it scares me to death. In the back of my mind I always have the “what ifs” what if this happens,what if a emergency happens and I am not able to be there for them.My oldest daughter in 2005 was involved in a car wreak caused by a drunk driver. To this day it haunts me that I was not there. My mom never made it out of the wreck alive,my kid at the time was 5 yrs old. and it haunts me like a dark drifting cloud.Sure people say “pray about it…get victory and over come this darkness”…yeah ok I am human and have blood flowing through my veins and it is not that easy for me.My mom was my world,I could call her anytime and she would be there for me…unlike some friends I thought I had along the way…but that is in the past and yes I am over that, but my moms death I am not sure if I will ever be able to get over….maybe when I take my last breath.
My daughter wants to go to Youth Camp at the end of June. I am doing my best to keep calm but I have ran out of excuses and just confess that her mother is a worry wart looney that does not trust anything in this screwed up world. I went as far as telling her she could catch a virus or disease.Yeap I am pathetic.
You know the sad part of my moms murder and yes the drunk driver was charged with 2nd degree murder and assault on a minor.I started a book and actually had a publisher that want to sign me ,I never had the heart to finish it.
valentineeaster 